things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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