Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
