the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
