tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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