Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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