I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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