Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
