Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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