They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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