why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
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Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
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Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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