She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I don't deserve a penis
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
