By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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