if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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