I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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