The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
