Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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