im drinking this country out of the recession.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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