we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
