I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
