I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
