K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
