I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
time to smoke my breakfast
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
