so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
