i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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