I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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