Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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