u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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