my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
