I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
