Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
