All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
