your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
