And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
