I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
