I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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