are you so shy because you have an std?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
