Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
