absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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