Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
