unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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