that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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