Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
