if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize