is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
