nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
