thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
