Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Who died my cat blue again?
I had to cum in my sink.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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