yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
