I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
