it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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