We're facebook friends in real life
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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