Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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