brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
A+ Viking dick
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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