So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
