Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
