made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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