dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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