What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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