They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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