Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
it glows. i had to have it.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
