Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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