PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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