you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
