Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
if i can run in heels then i can drive
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
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I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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